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Mother Hunger

The book Mother Hunger was recommended to me by a close friend who has been bearing witness to my journey of healing from childhood wounds.

It delves into the vital role of mothering and how damaging the lack of, can be to a child. It explains that in fact this wound and injury never goes away. Children simply give up at some stage. They loose a part of themselves in order to get what they absolutely do need and deserve.

The need never goes away and neither does the hurt. We just find more clever ways of substituting for what we weren’t given and numbing the pain of the hurt and twisting our ideas so that we don’t need those things. We are strong. We are independent. We don’t need anyone. We become overly masculine as the image of femininity was lacking. 

Often we feel guilty for wanting or needing these things. And also enraged because we know we deserve that love. It is the love of the mother that we often seek. Even in our romantic partner and our idea of being in love can actually be shaped by the love we want from our mother.

I have found the awareness of this extremely healing in my journey.

You may have heard of attachment theory and even shied away from the terms insecure, anxious, avoidant. This book sheds a different perspective on attachment theory as the normal response to an injury rather than an abnormal way of being. 

Relief, acceptance, emotions and self soothing are now flowing through to myself and my little girl, and the parts of her that were crushed and suppressed, I can now breathe into, as I give her safety, nurturance and guidance to be herself.


Mother Hunger by Kelly McDaniel

 
 
 

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